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1. Insert bulb and use as flashlight. 2. Fill with ink and use as bingo dabber. 3. Fill with Frosting and squeeze to decorate cake. 4. Use it as a decoration to from your rearview mirror. 5. a dried out one inside an upside-down pot for an interesting. Gives new meaning to the phrase "ding." 6. Nail it to the wall and use it for a coat rack. 7. In a pinch, poke extra holes in the end and replace shower nozzle. 8. Conversation piece on the coffee table ("Oh, that's just when he was in his prime "). 9. Redneck girl's toothpick holder. 10. Dip it in candied apple glaze and make an all day sucker out of it. 11. Fill with Vicks and use as a nose inhaler. 12. Fill it up with plaster of and use it as a microphone while singing the Bobbitt. 13. Stick a mouse head on the tip, slit the horizontally, insert a in the bottom, and use as a Pez dispenser. 14. Soak in it Starch, let it dry, and use it as a dildo. 15. To induce vomiting. 16. Use it as a nozzle to provide a steady stream on your garden hose. 17. Nail it to the wall and your coffee mug on it.

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